I really thought it would be easy for me to write about my family. It was a mistake. It is extremely difficult because there are many sentimental and illuminating stories but all of them are too intimate and essential for me to tell. Sometimes these stories make me cry, make me laugh, and sometimes make me angry. The older I am the more important my family is for me, and starts my own family. It is not an easy game since my family gives me such an example that makes me look for this kind of relationship, this kind of family. On the other hand, they are humans making mistakes.
I had a wonderful childhood with lots of laughter and without any fear about tomorrow. My family tried to ensure everything, but in a big family you cannot be the only one. You learn easily how to compromise. I do think that it has determined my relationship with my friends and my private life as well. On the one hand I learn how to be flexible and supple; on the other hand you fight for a very intense attention.
Have you seen the movie "My big fat greek wedding"? It is about my family. :) Seriously. They are loud; they want to know everything even about your private life. Sometimes it is extremely uncomfortable, but it is Ok, because you are also curious about their private life, and if you are in a double heat they are always there for you.. It is a fantastic feeling that makes you feel safe even in a foreign city. Sometimes I feel grateful for this but sometimes I feel I am not self sufficient I complain. But it is normal, isn't it?
When I started my studies at the college I detested it.. I always wanted to be a literature teacher, so it is obvious that I felt uncomfortable at the faculty of human relations. I couldn't find myself, I didn't understand the lectures, So I did want to give up in the end of the first semester. I cried everyday, and of course I couldn’t pass the constitutional law exam. It made the situation even more complicated.
The one day I went home and told my mum what is my decision. She cried, shouted at me and wanted to disinherit me. She didn’t' understand my situation, and she felt that there are to many effort of her in my studies. (she was absolutely right.) The more aggressive she pressured me, the more sure I was that I have to leave the college. When my dad got to know about that I want to skip he didn't say anything. It hurt me, He said if only he had the opportunity to study at university.. I felt miserable. He suggested something. He offered his help in preparing for the exam. He said you must pass the exam even if you don't continue. It would have been a defeat that I had destroyed my self confident for a long time. He was right as always. I have passed the post exam.... I was happy because they were happy. When I got my first degree the first man I thanked for was my dad.
(It is a very telling story, but can mislead you. I adore my mum as well, and I trust her, and I can share everything with her except my carrier... :)
Do you ask about the moral? You can lament, but in some situations it is good to share your happiness and sadness , and it is great to speak with a person who love you unconditionally.
Nincsenek megjegyzések:
Megjegyzés küldése